Shrimply the best

A haiku about Mario Kart

Are you kidding me
Who the fuck threw that blue shell
I will fuck you up

(Source: hippiebones, via ruinedchildhood)

lztybrn:

remember way back in 2006 when the wii first came out and then the entirety of the world forgot how to hold onto something with a firm grasp so much that nintendo had to make a shock absorbing condom just so that tvs wouldnt get destroyed when people would end up sending this thing flying at their tvs at 900 miles per hour

(via manthatfoolwasjammin)

saboobnah:

bird privilege is being able to make loud as fuck noises early in the morning without somebody calling the cops on you

(via colfer)

Dear America,

danisnotafaggot:

Please can you stop going on about your dress codes not allowing you to show your thighs, or your shoulders, or your midriff, or whatever else. You don’t even KNOW dress code pain, because this (or something very similar to this in terms of other schools in England) is what I have no choice but to wear to school every single day:

It looks crap, huh? See, while you may get dress coded for wearing a short skirt or a tank top, I will get dress coded for:

• wearing a bracelet
• wearing earrings that are not studs, or having a piercing anywhere other than my earlobe
• wearing coloured eyeshadow
• wearing nail varnish
• wearing a skirt (or shorts, as I am in the photo) without tights
• wearing shoes that are not completely black, or are considered to be ‘shoes for fashion, not for school’ such as Vans, Converse, Toms, etc
• Removing our blazers, unless we are in a lesson. (that’s right, even this time of year when it’s hotter than it ever has been, I have to keep that fricking thing on outside or in the hall)

And those are only the set in stone rules. Today, I was on my way to a lesson and I got stopped by my Deputy Headmaster, who asked me to roll the sleeves of my blazer down as they were pulled up to the elbow. I have also had to fight my corner many many times during uniform checks about why I should be allowed to wear shorts instead of trousers or a skirt, as it is often deemed ‘inappropriate’. I also shaved the side of my head last summer, and when I went back to school I was threatened with being taken out of my lessons and put into our ‘close supervision room’ and to get a point on my public conduct record unless I changed my hairstyle and covered the shaved part. And if you’re thinking of dying your hair any colour that isn’t a natural one? You’re completely screwed.

Bearing in mind, that these are just the things that happen at MY school and there are tons of other schools all over England with awful uniform rules. While we may have madmen and their Tardises, and consulting detectives with funny ear hats, we do not have the freedom that you have when it comes to dressing for school, my dear US friends.

Yours sincerely,

England xoxox and maybe Australia although I’m not sure about how strict your uniform rules actually are

also if ur gna reblog this reblog as text thank

remember when teachers would stand at the gates and make sure you had your blazer before you left school premises. if you didn’t have it you had to run back into school and get it and then run back out to catch your bus.

(well this happened to me a lot)

(via colfer)